File Under: Kids Say the Darnedest

1.

After I told the boys that a kid we know tried football but likes soccer better...
Johnny: Well, my favorite is football.
Richie: My favorite is baseball.
J.J.: My favorite is bouncy ball.


***

2.

J.J.: Mom, when are you going to get married and have a baby?
Me: I already got married and had three babies. You're one of them.
J.J.: Well, you could marry daddy.
Me: Yep that's my husband.
What does he think the connection is between the five of us living in this house? College roomies?


***

3.

J.J.: Mom, what do you want for your birthday?
Me: My dream gift would be an iphone or a new laptop.
J.J.: Or a Barbie doll?
Me: Yes, a Barbie doll would be great.
J.J.: Or a baby doll?
Me: Maybe I'll ask for a real baby...
J.J.: Maybe daddy could give you one.
Me: Um...yes.
J.J.: But doesn't God give babies?
Me: Yes, babies are gifts from God.
J.J., Johnny and Richie: Silence.
Me: (Big sigh of relief.)