Daze of Summer

How would I describe summer vs. the rest of the year? First of all: I love summer. It's my chance to spend time with my boys that doesn't include homework and signing a bunch of stuff.

I get that homework is important. Especially if my boys are to fullfill their promise to me that one will be a doctor/dentist, another, a lawyer/mad scientist/local business owner who sponsors a 3&2 team, and the third a "surprise me." Guess who chose that one? (Hint: starts with an R.)

In terms of dealing with people, however, who would you choose? A. People who have spent all day swimming/playing whiffle ball/eating ice cream products. B. People who have been bossed around and forced to do paperwork in tiny desks all day. Again, I get it. If they always do "A" they'll turn into donkeys. I'm just sayin': I would choose A.

Furthermore, summer is one reason I chose to be a children's book writer, instead of a...I would have said banker, but there's really no sure thing anymore, is there? You might as well feed it all to the birds.

So I'm not complaining. Just making a statement. There is a certain daaaze that goes along with summer, as opposed to working while the kids are in school. I would compare it to being a hunter-gatherer vs. a farmer.

Farmers mold their world by planting crops and raising animals. Hunter-gatherers live off the land as it already exists. Winter mama molds her world by doing such things as generating business, doing work, following up on paychecks. Summer mama's to-do list says, "Apply sunscreen. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again."

All humans used to be hunter-gatherers until the agricultural revolution. Then, a wave of farming swept the world, and people laid down roots, planned ahead, met certain goals.

Now, if I had heard about this new way of life, I would have said, "That sounds like a lot of work. Why don't you guys do that, and I'll chill out here on the savannah. Your descendents can come back in a few thousand years and write magazine articles about how my people don't plan ahead...which is why we never got around to drilling for oil in the ocean or building nuclear bombs. I'm going to take a nap now. Have fun with your corn."

But at the time, everybody thought this was a great idea. In a way, it was. We got culture. I love culture, don't you? Books and what-not. Culture is so great. I have several cultural deadlines coming up that I will do momentarily. While my kids are quietly...dripping popsicles on the furniture and losing Furious behind the toy box.

Not that we're at home that much. That's the difference between being a summer mom and a year-round stay at home mom, like I was when the kids were little. The sunny months are so much better! Mainly, we go to the pool and eat. Swimming makes these children hungry! Speaking of corn, you can't have enough popcorn lying around when you are at the pool!

Here's something else I thank the agricultural revolution for: mass-produced coffee. I had given up coffee for green tea over the winter. Coffee was keeping me up at night. In the summer, however, I can pour coffee directly onto my eyeballs with no adverse affects. The sun bakes it out of me--even with my dorky-ass mom visor. (During the summer, I use big words like "dorky-ass," and "punk-ass," and "sorry-ass." Hardly ever front of the children though. That would be bad parenting-ass.)

The bottom-line: I love summer--I'm so lucky to get to have a summer, but staying home with kids and meeting deadlines don't mix. The boys and I are about living off the land--the land being the swimming pool and Aldi's. Deadlines are about planning and meeting goals.

So when I say, "No problem," about a deadline, I'm thinking, "Winter me is all over it. Summer me, on the other hand, is trying to find my son's camouflaged flip-flop. Why in the swamp-ass hell did I purchase something camouflaged for a son who can't find his nose on a map of his own face?!"

If you are reading this and have given me a deadline, however, I really am all over it. Right...(push "publish post") now!