Muscle Beach...meet Muscle Pool

For some people, summer is about the beach. In Kansas City, it's all about the city pool. I once asked a friend in Boston if people went to city pools there. "Poor people do," she said. Well, poor people go to the city pool here, too, (how do you think our family gets in?) But so does everybody else. I mean everybody. It's a total madhouse.

J.J. doesn't know how to swim yet. So I follow him around everywhere. It's awkward this year because he's made some pool friends, and I tag along with them like some kind of celebrity handler.

Today, his friend Ryan--who was in the goldfish swim class with J.J. and apparently learned how to swim (what a concept! J.J. should try that some time.) was doing somersaults in the water.

"How old are you?" I asked, impressed.

"I'm five and three quarters," he said.

"I'm five and I have four quarters," J.J. said.

It was true--he did have four quarters. My kids' summer--if not their entire lives--are dedicated to memorizing the prices at snack bars--and scraping up just enough money to ruin their teeth. But J.J. is not five.

He's turning five in July. It was my brilliant plan to have his party one month early so that I could send invitations to school. (The school doesn't have a roster that I know of, so I don't have addresses.) Well, nobody RSVP'd. Way to keep it classy, J.J.'s friends' parents!

So I figured, we'll have his party at the regular time, when his cousins from Atlanta will be in town. Then, yesterday, one mom RSVP'd. She offered to bring her three other kids, too. Bam! Instant party.

I don't want to blow my wad on this party, since we're having the cousins in July, so I'm going to make play dough, copy Spiderman coloring sheets off the computer, make red cupcakes, and make Justin dress up as Spiderman. Keeping it classy, as always.

J.J. has luckily forgotten all about passing out 20 invitations at school. He only remembers giving one to his elusive school bus friend, Jamaicai, who I'm beginning to think is J.J.'s snuffalufagus. I told J.J. that Jamaicai might be spending his summer in Texas. I have no reason to think that. But my yoga teacher's kids are spending their summer in Texas, and it's a big state, so you never know. I should have said Jamaica, though. Duh.

Anyway, J.J. now has no idea how old he is, only that he gets to have two birthday parties this summer. Yay!

Richie, meanwhile, really does have a birthday coming up and we're celebrating...you guessed it, at the city pool. Then he gets to have a slumber party. This is the boys' big eight year old treat. The pool is key--you have to wear these children out. I'm hoping they don't wear goggles, as chlorine can do wonders for kids wanting to close their eyes when they get home.

I'm realizing that this post is not about Muscle Beach/Pool after all. Here is what I was going to say. At football camp, Johnny's coach said the boys should relax afterwards. He said, "Your shoulders are starting to get big, so go show them off to the girls at the pool."

Johnny took that comment at face value. We were riding in the car the other day and he said to Richie, "Dude, my arms are enormous next to yours." Just what every younger brother wants to hear.

Then, he actually saw a girl in his class at the pool the other day. I think he likes this girl, because for a while, he was working her name into distantly related conversations. Well, he wouldn't even look at her! Finally, I convinced him to say hi out of politeness. And out of me handpicking her for my future daughter-in-law. (She's very sweet.)

That's all I have about muscles. I should probably change the title of this post...