Football with the Boys
Johnny and Richie, on the other hand, know thousands.
So when I'm the quarterback in our front yard, I let them make the plays. The trouble is, I have a hard time following what they're saying. To me, it sounds like, "When you say, 'Down set,' I'm going to go over here and then go over there, then marry a mare, then dairy a dare, then harry a hair..."
I just nod. Then I throw it wherever they seem to be. Usually I'm wrong.
Johnny will say, "Remember? I was going to fake the catch at the sidewalk but really catch it at the bushes."
"But when you got to the sidewalk you said to throw it."
"I said that to throw off the defense."
"I thought you were throwing off the defense by pretending to throw off the defense." I can never remember which he's doing.
With Richie it's a little easier. In the huddle, he covers his mouth with his hands, I guess to prevent the defense (Johnny) from reading his lips. This makes him totally inaudible. Luckily, he makes a series of hand motions that I can usually understand. I'm guessing that Johnny can, too. But I have to say, Richie's verbal fakeouts work pretty well.
The other day, he ran behind me, saying in a John Madden announcer voice, "He fakes the handoff!" He actually faked me out and I almost didn't give him the ball, but he grabbed it and ran for a touchdown.
I call that play The Quarterback Has No Clue.