Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Football with the Boys

I only know one football play. Flea flicker. Maybe two. Is the Statue of Liberty play where you pretend to throw the ball but instead somebody (hopefully on your own team) takes it and runs with it? If so, I know that one, too.

Johnny and Richie, on the other hand, know thousands.

So when I'm the quarterback in our front yard, I let them make the plays. The trouble is, I have a hard time following what they're saying. To me, it sounds like, "When you say, 'Down set,' I'm going to go over here and then go over there, then marry a mare, then dairy a dare, then harry a hair..."

I just nod. Then I throw it wherever they seem to be. Usually I'm wrong.

Johnny will say, "Remember? I was going to fake the catch at the sidewalk but really catch it at the bushes."

"But when you got to the sidewalk you said to throw it."

"I said that to throw off the defense."

"I thought you were throwing off the defense by pretending to throw off the defense." I can never remember which he's doing.

With Richie it's a little easier. In the huddle, he covers his mouth with his hands, I guess to prevent the defense (Johnny) from reading his lips. This makes him totally inaudible. Luckily, he makes a series of hand motions that I can usually understand. I'm guessing that Johnny can, too. But I have to say, Richie's verbal fakeouts work pretty well.

The other day, he ran behind me, saying in a John Madden announcer voice, "He fakes the handoff!" He actually faked me out and I almost didn't give him the ball, but he grabbed it and ran for a touchdown.

I call that play The Quarterback Has No Clue.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's so funny. I can't wait to see their games. I miss you, mom

6:46 AM  
Blogger Tim Higgins said...


Having watched the beginning of the NFL season, I believe that there are a number of teams working off of your children's playbook.

Living here in Toledo between Detroit and Cleveland, we are simply hoping that professional football returns soon. In fact, I am reasonably sure that you, Johnny and Ritchie could beat the Lions (everybody else has).

12:10 PM  
Blogger Tim Higgins said...


It appears that I was prescient on the NFL season, and for that I apologize. I am however convinced now more than ever that the three of you stand a better than even chance against the Chiefs, and maybe the Lions and Browns as well.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHERE ARE YOU????????????????

6:01 AM  

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