Sky Mall...Where Necessity is Truly the Mother of All Inventions
It's got to be a fun job writing for the Sky Mall catalog. Browsing through the latest issue on our way home from Boston, I saw a sumo wrestler table, a pillow that allows you to sleep on your stomach without turning your head to the side, and giant sleeper pajamas--the kind babies wear.
I thought the catalog writing was a little dry, so I composed my own sales pitches.
Sumo Wrestler Table.
Perfect for cocktail parties, this furniture features a sumo wrestler kneeling on his hands and knees with a glass table top on his back. Imagine your guests' delight when they lean over to fix a cheese and cracker and have a sumo wrestler's butt staring them in the face. They will want to cut the cheese again and again.
Pillow with Hole in the Center.
Are you tired of turning your head to the side while sleeping on your stomach? Well, you shouldn't have to. You deserve to fall asleep staring straight at the bed--not the wall. Previously, you needed a snorkel to do this. But with our patented hole in the middle of a pillow, you will never have to turn your head to the side again. Call it Independence Day, you are truly free at last.
Baby Jammies for Grownups.
When it's time for night-night, do you wish you could look like a big baby? Well, goo-goo ga-ga because now you can. Our zip-up sleeper pajamas also make a great gift for the oversized infant in your life--be it your husband, wife, neighbor or boss. (Please understand that standard shipping takes 10-14 business days. Crying, whining or throwing a fit will not make the p.j.s arrive any faster.)
I thought the catalog writing was a little dry, so I composed my own sales pitches.
Sumo Wrestler Table.
Perfect for cocktail parties, this furniture features a sumo wrestler kneeling on his hands and knees with a glass table top on his back. Imagine your guests' delight when they lean over to fix a cheese and cracker and have a sumo wrestler's butt staring them in the face. They will want to cut the cheese again and again.
Pillow with Hole in the Center.
Are you tired of turning your head to the side while sleeping on your stomach? Well, you shouldn't have to. You deserve to fall asleep staring straight at the bed--not the wall. Previously, you needed a snorkel to do this. But with our patented hole in the middle of a pillow, you will never have to turn your head to the side again. Call it Independence Day, you are truly free at last.
Baby Jammies for Grownups.
When it's time for night-night, do you wish you could look like a big baby? Well, goo-goo ga-ga because now you can. Our zip-up sleeper pajamas also make a great gift for the oversized infant in your life--be it your husband, wife, neighbor or boss. (Please understand that standard shipping takes 10-14 business days. Crying, whining or throwing a fit will not make the p.j.s arrive any faster.)
posted by Midwest Mama at 1:54 PM
1 Comments:
That's a crack up!!!
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