Santa Letters Through the Ages

Dear Santa,

Who in the holly jolly heck are you? Nobody holds me on their lap unless there is a warm bottle of milk involved. I'm indignant that you didn't know that.

Yours Angrily,
A Baby

Dear Santa,

Please bring me a candy cane. Bring it to me in person, because I think I like you. But keep your distance. I haven't figured out your angle yet.

Yours Skeptically,
A Two Year Old

Dear Santa,

I want glasses. The kind you wear to swim. Also: A dinosaur. The baby kind that is real.

P.S. Snow. Because Christmas doesn't happen unless it snows.

I love you.

Yours Believingly,
A Four Year Old

Dear Santa,

I want a Nurf gun and basketball. I need new shoes but I don't want to waste a present on them.

My mom says I can't end it there, so how's it going? Do you like the North Pole? Do you like Rudolf? Do you like Mrs. Claus? I bet you do.

Yours Briefly,
A Seven Year Old


Dear Santa,

How are you? I found out Rudolf is an urban myth. Ha. That's hilarious. I'm sure the eight other reindeer don't appreciate how he gets all the attention since he is not real.

Thank you for my gifts last year. How is Mrs. Claus? Good, I hope. This year, I would like:

A football (junior size with a good grip)
An under armor shirt (The kind that is tight so you can see your muscles. Not that that's why I want it.)
A Taylor Swift or Christina Aguilara CD (I just think they have pretty voices.)
Shoes (My old ones have holes.)

Yours Forever,
A Nine Year Old

Dear Santa,

How is Mrs. Claus? Tired, I bet. Does she do all the work around Christmas? Just kidding. I thought we should coordinate our gifts. My husband and I are giving the boys shoes and sweatpants, so feel free to bring all the good stuff again this year and steal our thunder. Please make sure the CD covers are appropriate for a nine year old boy. Thank you for the gifts last year. They were a huge hit-even more so than the pencil sharpeners and school pants we gave them.

Yours Resignedly,
A Mom