Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Mother's Day Reflections

With Mother's Day this weekend, I thought about some things that become clear once you have kids, and other things that are foggier than ever.

For instance, I now understand why you should never stand between a mother bear and her cub. It's nothing personal. It's just instincts.

On the other hand, a great mystery to me is what my sons think about while going pee. Because clearly they're not thinking about getting it in the toilet. I don't think they even know that that's the goal. When I was in fifth grade, the boys in our class got in trouble for peeing on the walls behind the toilets in the bathroom. Nobody ever admitted to it or said who did it. Now I think they all did it. They just didn't realize it. Boys are totally clueless in this regard.

I now understand how a mother can talk to a person on the phone in the sweetest voice imaginable while--in the same instant--yelling at her children (silently, of course). Her kids might not read lips, but they get the point: mom is not going to be on the phone forever. So they should hide.

But I don't understand why kids think they are invisible when their mom is on the phone, and, thus, won't see them wrestling/tracking in mud/setting a worm on the kitchen counter/eating candy for breakfast/etc.
***
While Sunday was officially Mother's Day, it was unofficially Richie's chance to remind people about his upcoming birthday, which is in less than two months.

"My birthday's coming up," he told his Nana on the phone. "Don't forget my birthday," he wrote in cards.

You should be receiving your "save the date" refrigerator magnet any day now.
***
The boys also had lots of suggestions for things I'd like to do on Mother's Day, such as go to the zoo or see Shrek. But what most mothers want on this day (besides being alone for one blessed minute, that is) is to get work done. It is the only day you can ask your family to do anything and they can't really argue. What would they say? "Thanks for bringing me into the world, mom, but planting that tree is too much to ask. How about a nice card instead?"

It's also the day that husbands, uncles, grandfathers and sons are in charge of making the dinner. Soon, they are shocked to learn that salads, casseroles and desserts do not grow on cows. Just because you grill some burgers doesn't mean an entire meal magically appears on the picnic table.

In fact, studies show that women talk on the phone more than men. The difference is due entirely to how much time we spend discussing side dishes with each other:

"What can I bring to Easter dinner, Nana?"

"How about a salad?"

"A jello salad?"

"No, Margaret's bringing the jello. You bring a green salad. Oh, shoot. Your mother mentioned she might bring a salad. Call her and see if you can bring the appetizer."

"How about spinich dip?"

"No, Mary's bringing the spinich dip. You bring the carrot sticks."

This takes weeks of planning--time that men simply can't waste...on anything but ESPN. Did anyone hear about that Rock Paper Scizzors championship last week? My husband watched an entire program about it.

Anyway, Mother's Day is a wonderful time for quiet reflection...especially about what makes you a better martyr than most of the people in the Illustrated Book of Catholic Saints.

So whether you are a mom or a mother-figure to somebody, happy mother's day.

1 Comments:

Anonymous mom said...

Happy Mother's Day to one of my very favorite moms. You're great!!!

8:43 PM  

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