Mother's Day Award

I was sitting in my dirty house, fantasizing about Mother's Day. (I asked for the opportunity to clean uninterupted for four hours, meaning no children. Justin's been working around the clock, and I've been busy with work, too, so it looks like the History Channel special about what happens 17 years after humans no longer inhabit the earth. Bears are eating out of our cupboards and weeds are growing out of the floor at this point.)


I was thinking, instead of the ads where people wake up to a car with a big bow around it, I'd like to wake up with a dumpster outside with a big bow around it. That would be the best Mother's ever because then I could clean the attic, too.


I was wondering whether these hopes and dreams were healthy for a woman my age when I got an e-mail from my mom.


She said that she had gone to a company dinner, where she thought she was going to be mentioned for having worked there for 25 years. But then she found out that they honor their 25-year anniversary workers the following year. So after working there for 26 years, they get honored for working there for 25 years.


She added that she also almost was honored by our local CVS pharmacy. She bought something there and the girl said, "Wow. No wonder you're one of our top 10 customers."


"I am? What does that mean?" my mom asked.


The girl said that it meant that the CVS employees almost sent my mom a Christmas card with their picture on it.


Seriously, what will it take for someone to give my mom an award?


So I decided, in honor of mother's day, to give out an award called Mom/Employee/Drugstore Customer of the Year. The qualifications for the award are that you have to spend x amount of dollars at your local drugstore, you have to have worked at your company for 25 years (not 26) and you have to be a great mom. I'm pretty sure my mom has this in the bag.


Often times writers only write about their mom if she was eccentric or just plain wierd. My mom is the opposite. She's very normal except for the fact that she is one of the funniest people I know. If you ever sit down next to my mom, I can guarantee you won't get stuck talking about the weather.


If I ever make it as a storyteller, it will be because of my mom.


In her job, she heard people's stories all day long. She wasn't in the traditional jobs in which that happens--being a reporter or a hairdresser. Rather, she was an occupational therapist who visited people in their homes.


My mom always had two stories for us when she came home. A tragedy or hardship that her patient was facing. And something funny that happened to her that day.


This made me wonder, when the whole world suffers so much, why do funny things always happen to my mom? Of course, she has had her share of hardship like everybody else, but I think the reason why she has a funny story at the end of every day is not because she is blessed with an inordinate amount of comic relief in her life but because she sees humor everywhere.


A good sense of humor is something that people take for granted--like having straight teeth. But it's a whole outlook on life that says, "I know that life can be hard and people can be difficult, and life is often easier for the difficult people, but I'm going to enjoy it anyway."

Now, my mom supports me in my own storytelling career. She leaves a comment every time I post, sometimes anonymously, so that it will look like I have fans outside my immediate family.

On the actual Mother's Day, I'm going to spend it with my mom. She is not only a great mom but also gave me a sense of humor. Whenever something annoying happens, such as a doctor who throws a temper tantrum alongside my toddler, I think, if I can just get home and tell somebody, the story will transform into something funny, just like my mom's stories did.

Happy Mother's Day, mom.