The Numbers Do Lie

A lady called us last night and asked us to stop telemarketing her, or she'd report us to the Attorney General. Justin politely explained that he didn't know what she was talking about. We're not telemarketers. And that was fine.

But then her husband woke us up at 10:30 p.m., cussing at Justin. When Justin assured the man that we did not call them, the man said, "Well, I don't know what your wife is into..."

"My wife is asleep!" Justin said.

I don't really get this guy's remark. What kind of telemarketing is he talking about?

No matter what Justin said, these people would not believe us. The guy kept saying, "Caller I.D. does not lie."

Well, when we called our cable company, we found out it does lie. Telemarketers sometimes use people's residential phone numbers as their caller I.D., so that their targets pick up the phone. Also, if an out-of-town caller has your number, but a different area code, and a person hits *69 or whatever, it can revert to the local number.

But, these possibilities did not occur to our new phone friends. Because given the choice between trusting a new invention and trusting a fellow human being, guess what people do?

This is why the computers will one day overtake us, a la The Terminator. In a few decades, caller I.D. will be running for president as the one candidate who does not lie. Or something.

The funny thing is, these people had our same prefix; we're probably neighbors. In fact, it's possible we've called them about something, but don't remember. Today, we blocked their number, so I hope I never have to call them about a block party, or anything. More like a block-your-number party.

Yes, numbers lie. Like the time a different guy kept texting Justin, threatening to kick his ass over a mutual lady friend. Finally, Justin called him and told him he had the wrong number.

Now, I don't go around saying I'm going to beat people up. But if I did, I'd probably double-check their contact information. At least that guy believed Justin.

I think the moral of the story is: Be polite to your fellow living, breathing creatures. It's a reminder I need, too.

A different stranger gave my cell phone number to a loan collector, and now they call me a thousand times a day. I can get pretty snippy.

In fact one girl trying to collect said, "You don't have to be mean about it. I said I was sorry."

I thought she was a little hypersensitive to be in the collection business, but now I'm changing my tune. I'm going to be polite, as a rule. I'm even going to give people the benefit of the doubt occassionally. Because computers do make mistakes. After all, they're only human.