The Band

When I picked up Richie from school yesterday, he said, "Hey, I have band practice tonight."

"Band practice?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's at Nick's house. It's rock n' roll."

"Okay..."

"So will you drop me off there?"

Figuring that Nick's mother knew nothing about this, I told Richie it was probably some other day. But he was so adament, that I e-mailed Nick's mom, who I've only met once..."Um, are you having some sort of rock n' roll rehearsal at your house?" I haven't heard back from her.

At dinner, Richie talked more about the band.

Johnny, jealous of his brother's impending fame, said, "How can you be in a band? You don't know how to play an instrument!"

"I know," Richie said. "That's why I'm doing the microphone. Drake's doing the electric guitar. Robert's playing the flute."

"What songs are you guys singing?" Justin asked.

Richie took a bite of his chili and pondered that question. "Probably 'There's a Place in France Where the Naked Ladies Dance.'"

"You can't sing that!" Johnny said. "It's illegal stealing! You didn't write it. Kevin did."

(Kevin is their slightly older cousin.)

"Actually, that song's been around since dad and I were kids," I said.

Richie smiled. "Well, it's not appropriate for ladies. Luckily, mom's not a lady. So she can still come to our concert."

"Mom's a lady," Johnny argued. "'Lady's' just a fancy way to say 'girl.'"

"Oh, I thought you stopped being a lady when you had babies," Richie said.

Johnny shook his head. "No, girls can be a lady anytime. Or a woman. But that song's definitely not appropriate for French ladies." He gulped his milk. "There probably won't be any there, though...Unless they were on vacation."

"Yeah," Richie agreed. "Not unless they were on vacation."

So I guess it's settled. Barring any vacationing French ladies, Richie will be kicking off his concert performance with, "There's a Place in France Where the Naked Ladies Dance."

Now if we only knew where and when.