Your Inheritance

Do you ever get e-mails like this?

Dearest Stranger:

My name is Maria Van Veeder Vader. I am dying from a most horrible disease: eczema. Worse, I have $2 million that I have no idea what do with.

I thought of giving it to charity, but I didn’t want to seem like a goody-goody. So I’ve decided to give it to you, soccermom151@yahoo.net. I guess I just fell in love with your name.

Don’t I have relatives? you might ask. I did. And I do.

My husband, sadly, was eaten by squirrels while dressed as a tomato for a play. My children were kidnapped by Saddam Hussein. This was back when I was an opera singer touring the Middle East.

But reminiscing is a luxury I do not have. Nor do I want. It is simply too painful.

My children now live in Orlando, but I was forced to disown them when they borrowed one of my opera wigs without asking.

So I have but one question, my angel: Do you want this money?

Then all you need to do is send me your bank account number, social security, and the name of a someone who might be willing to blackmail you. I anticipate dying in 5-7 business days, so please e-mail me immediately.

And don’t tell anyone, lest you suffer, shall we say, an operatic ending.

In the meantime, pray for me and my horrible itching,

Maria

Heck yeah, I'll send her my info. I mean, she seems nice enough, right?