J.J. Kiss Love: The Exception to the Rule

How did it happen? The disdain for "girlie things" and "kissy love" songs.

A couple years ago, my sons asked for My Pretty Pony for their birthday. They just thought she was a cute horse. Now, looking through toy catalogues, they can't flip through the pink pages fast enough.

"Those are kissy love toys," they murmer, flipping from the Disney Princess page to the Batman section.

The other day, Johnny's friend was over and asked, "Whose Pretty Pony movie is that? Do you have a sister?"

It was the free tape that came with Krystal Waters, or whatever the horse's name was.

Johnny, 5, thought fast. "That's just my mom's," he said. "She wanted it, so we got it for her."

Indeed, "Pony Party" is one of my favorite films. I love when they gallup around the cake, talking in voices so high that only our dog can hear them.

There is just one exception to Johnny and Richie's intolerance for kissy love things: their baby brother J.J., or J.J. Kiss Love, as they call him.

Richie, 3, talks to J.J. in the language of love.

"J.J. de do do. da ba ba," he says, hugging him and squeezing his cheeks.

Johnny made up this poem for J.J.:

I love you with kisses
I love you with hearts
I love you with love
and that's the best part

They even compete to see who can be the kissy loviest around J.J. The other day, Richie fell asleep during homeschool while we watched an educational program about the Mothman, the New Jersey Devil and crop circles.

Seeing Richie snoring away, Johnny whispered to J.J., "I love you morer than Richie does."

Babies bring out the gushing terms of endearment in everyone.

"He's a fatty!" a mom I didn't know yelled across the room the other day.

"I've never seen thighs that big on a baby!" others remark.

"He hasn't missed any meals," the priest said when he baptized J.J.

"My son was that big," older mothers tell me, swelling with pride. "Weighed 100 pounds at 8 months. I had to roll him into the doctor's office for his 12-month check up. So cute."

These are, of course, the highest compliments for a baby.

My mom deals in antiques and said that in old paintings, cherubs and baby Jesus were chubby because that was a sign of health. People thought big babies were beautiful because they saw so many thin babies who were sick or didn't get the nutrition they needed.

Yes, babies bring out the kissy love in everybody. Maybe that's why cupid is a baby. I hope your Valentine's Day is filled with terms of endearment, whether it's for your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or a little baby you know.

Speaking of exceptions to rules, my mom and brother Josh reminded me of the "i before e except after c" rule. That includes the c in Cheifs, right? From now on, I am writing with a dictionary and Chiefs pennant in hand.

Congratulations to my brother Luke for correctly answering the question, what would human-brained mice use to lure us into their traps (Trivial Pursuits.) The answer was gouda. If you guessed Velveeta, you know what they say, Coulda, shoulda, gouda.